Fustia

November 23, 2009

ZURICH (Reuters) — Scientists have smashed together proton beams for the first time in a 27-kilometre tunnel under the French-Swiss border in an initial step toward discovering how the universe came into existence, they said on Monday.

Unfortunately, the prediction of the doom-sayers proved correct, and the Earth has been completely swallowed by a massive black hole. All traces of the planet have been obliterated from the known universe.

This occurred unbeknownst to the occupants of the planet, however, since time dilation is relative, and the event passed completely unobserved by anyone, except for the God-like creatures in the Andromeda Galaxy, a few million light years away.

Some panic was observed when it was noticed that the sun was no longer visible and the entire sky had turned black. Panic subsided somewhat when it was pointed out that the current time was 11:20 PM.

Details in the late edition.